Me and Oprah have something in common. We've both fallen off the wagon. Well, I didn't quite "fall" off, I voluntarily nose dived off. This is so hard. In theory it's easy. I mean I think 60 days is no sweat when I think of the grand scheme of life. But, when I wake up and think about bacon...it's over. 1 day is torture. I think it's particularly hard for me because I live a sorta random life. Even though there are many parts of my day that is routine/predictable, there's a lack of time management. Maybe I feel like if I start adhering to some mind-numbing schedule I'll become just that...a zombie. Day in and day out. But then I think of all the great things I could do with the time I will find when I'm not goofing off checking my email 3 times a day. Idk, but I do know that I have to find some balance in the day that it's not just about taking care of everyone and everything else but me.
So, one of my rewards for losing 10 pounds was to get my hair done. I used to spend quite a lot of dinero on my gray hair camouflaging highlights but since I've become a stay at home mom (SAHM - I just figured out what those letters stood for on those mommy community sites) I haven't had the extra cash (not that I really did before). Anyways, so after I lost 3 pounds (which I've now managed to quickly gain back through the likes of roast pork and char siu) my sister, Chelle offered to pick up my hairstying bill on the condition that I lose 10 more pounds. I was so excited for a couple days and then I got all overwhelmed and was only focusing on the 10 more pounds that it got too daunting.
I've spent a week trying hard to not care about this great undertaking but now I've taken a deep breath and realized that I have 2 choices. I can ONE, pick up and keep moving forward or TWO delete this blog and pretend the whole thing never happened. So, as of today. I'm choosing option 1. I hope that I can push through and commit to this because I feel like now's the time. There's no other reason to lose weight but for my health. Usually it's to fit in a bridesmaid's dress. But when I get into that dress, the success of it all loses it's charm faster than it takes the bride and groom to get back from their honeymoon. Now, it's just about me getting healthy and being a great role model for my kids. That's going to be a lifelong focus for me rather than a temporary one.
Tomorrow, I'd like to start fresh and have 2 shakes, 1 snack and dinner. I've already planned my menu for the week so I don't have to stare at the fridge and figure out the meals, always gets me in trouble. And we're going to see the bodies on exhibition exhibit and I'm hoping it will be motivational. I'll let you know...
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That's what I'm talkin' about! Everyone now and then falls off the 'bandwagon'. Just get back up and stop crying in the mud. :) Besides, now you can fling the mud at everyone.. well, that's what I would do. :P
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself. Be your own best friend. Once you do, you'll find you have more energy. Take small life changing habits.
You can't climb a mountain in one jump but that doesn't mean it's impossible to climb nor does that mean you should not try in the first place. The view is always worth it. Remember that. I know you can do it. You're a strong person.